sorry, i'm just so inlove with you
by SiriusBlackMyLove
Summary: "You like me?" "I like you."


James, Lily, Sirius and Mary belong to J.K Rowling, yo.

...

"Mary, i found him, go get one of the boys." I yell, crouching down next to the boy who had annoyed and humiliated me for the last six years. He smelled of alcohol and smoke, and he looked like he just rolled out of bed, his hair messier than usual and in pjs.

"James." I say quiet, carefully, as if i was an octave higher, it would break him.

"What are you doing here? You hate me." He says, looking at me.

"I-" Those eyes which were usually full of life and laughter, were full of sadness and despair, "I was worried, your friends came in to our compartment, looking for you, to see if you had stalked me down, and they seemed very concerned for you, so we said we'd help, and Mary just gone to get Sirius right now."

"Why do you hate me?" He asks.

"I don't hate you James. You annoy me to my wits end, and i have quick temper, and you always know just how to get to me."

"I, i'm sorry, i am just so in love with you.

"When i first saw you i knew you were going to be great and i wanted you all to myself. You were right in front of me, making your way to the platform, you red hair," He starts, grabbing a piece of my hair, "swaying in the wind, you walking with such determination, talking to your parents about how excited you were and that you'd make them proud.

"I didn't even know what you looked like or your name, but i thought you were the most beautiful person ever. Then we met on the train, and i was awkward and i didn't know what to say, so i went straight to joking. And i just, i never know what to say when i'm around you. No one has ever made me feel the way i do about you Lily.

"You make me cramp up and forget everything i want to say. And then i end up saying something stupid and you end up hexing me. And when i wanna show you that i am a good person, i always end up showing my worst."

"James, stop."

"And when i saw your face i couldn't believe it. You were even more beautiful and your smile, wow, it took my breathe away,and then i found out more about you, about how smart, helpful, witty, funny and kind you were, though you never really we kind to me, i understand, i was a right prat. And as i got to know you better, you became even more attractive, and i wanted you more and more and when you smile, god Lily, you don't know what it does to me."

"You're drunk."

"And you're still so, so beautiful.

"And yeah, at the start, when you said no, it turned into a game. I wanted you, and you didn't want me and i was angry and i just wanted you to say yes. And Snape was so close to you, i was so angry, what does he have that i don't? So i started hexing him, and that made you hate me more. Then he called you that word and i was so angry, how dare he?

"And you weren't friends, but i saved his life and you still hated me. And i stopped hexing people, well not Slytherins but i only hexed them when the deserved it, and they did, i swear they did. And you still hated me and it was the end of sixth year and i was trying to hard, i didn't make out with random girls and i stopped asking you out. Our pranks even dialed down, though didn't stop, but they are funny and they don't hurt anyone, anymore.

"But you still hate me, and i just, i don't know what else to do. i don't want to stop being me to get you to like me, cause i don't know how long i could play out the charade. And all i want is for you to love me as much as i love you. Cause i love you, so, so much. And i want to get to know you better and i want to wake up next to you and to be able to kiss you when ever i bloody well want to and i don't want another guy to touch you ever again, and i want to marry you Evans and buy a house and have children and great grand children and i want you, i need you.

"I don't think there is anyone else for me, cause whenever i'm with someone else, all I can think of is you and how you would never call me Jamie-poo unless you're being sarcastic and the boys would love you and wouldn't make fun about you behind your back and how we could actually have conversation, and not about whether your ass looks better in hot pants or pencil skirts.

"And when i found out my dad died, all i could think of was how better it would be if you were the one comforting me and holding me and telling me it was gonna be alright. I wanted you there, but you would never come."

"James, i didn't know."

"I didn't want you to. I wanted you to treat me normally. Everyone's treating me like i'm some broken toy and i just want someone to tell me when i'm doing something wrong and you always do. You always burst my bubble, never let me float around on my ego. You were always, it was something that wouldn't change. But now you know, and i don't know.

"I just want you and i, to be an us. I want to take you on a date and i want you to get to know me, the real me, not the one broadcasted on gossip witch. But i also don't want a pity date."

"James-"

"I just-"

"James, just ssh.

"I noticed, i noticed how you stopped doing everything, the asking out and the dating other people when you would say you loved me. I noticed how the pranks weren't as mean and i noticed that the first years weren't hung up everywhere and people were all different colours. And i know what you did for Mary when she found out her mother had cancer. And i've known for years what you do for Remus and for Sirius. I know you are one of the best friends someone could have. And from what i've heard from the girls around Hogwarts, what an excellent kisser you are.

"I also know how close you are with Marlene, and how you are always there for her when she inevitably gets her heart broken. And how you helped Dorcas when she wanted to join the house team. And how you always help Emmeline get back at people who have 'wronged' her. I know that you helped Peter with exams. And that you helped Frank finally ask Alice out. And i know what you did for Snape. And i do like you James, i really do. I just wanted you to grow up a bit and you did and you didn't ask me out."

"You like me?"

"I like you." And who knows who leans in first and who kisses the other first, but the lips meet and they kiss for a long time, until Sirius comes rushing in, interrupting the love birds.

'Shit, sorry." He says, "I was just, i'll go. You carry on." As he goes out, he puts the thumbs up to James, smiling.

"No more kissing until your sober."

...


End file.
